Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good.Roman 12:9 CEV
The thing about love! Are you really ready for courtship or marriage?
In the beginning when you were in the womb, it was you and God. Before you knew your parents, you knew God. We’re delivered into this world and lose connection with God. The covenant, connection, and bond with God is broken and must be rediscovered as we more connect to the world.
Through life’s trails and tests, we lose sight of God being our first love. Worried about finding a soul mate, and operating out of self will. We make life more difficult for ourselves. We must first form a covenant with God before someone else. It is through that covenant, love will manifest and flourish in a healthy manner.
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33 NLT
God commands this because he already knows what we need. He is the first we should trust in and display loyalty to. He wants our focus, in order to guide us. We have to begin to think and be purpose driven in every area of our lives for total success. To live abundantly, God will have us to be whole in every area. Makes no sense to be financially free, but spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically broken. That is not living abundantly as he designed.
God is a God who wants us all to win. Although in Jeremiah 29:11, he states his plans are of good for you, it’s not solely about you, more than executing his plan to save lost souls. God says the strong help the infirmities of the weak, and not please ourselves. Roman 15:1.
Is it risky vesting into others, sure it is? Even in and through personal pain we are to stay in and continue God’s ministry. It is for the advancement of his kingdom. The sting of any pain will linger for a while, and we will never forget it. However, know that no one can make you happy, nor it is their job. We must work daily at making ourselves happy. Self-Love before you can love someone else. If you abuse yourself, how can you truly be loyal to another person. People will not always be honest with you about their true intentions. You met, dated, and feel in love with their PR (personal representative). Yes! Exhausting and unfair! But the fact they weren’t honest, shows you who they truly are. Several people say, what hurts the most was the fact the other party was dishonest and took away their choice to participate or leave, knowing the relationship would not end in marriage. Deception and manipulation! Do you really want to be linked to someone who would take away your choices, use you, or take you for granted? No! That’s not the life or peace God promised you. Do not allow Satan to manipulate you or play with your emotions. You are now, have been, and always will be good enough.
God thinks you are great and uses you for his purpose while healing you at the same time. Do not give up on God or blame him for your broken heart. People do what they do, or what we allow, but God’s love for us is consistent and doesn’t change no matter our decisions. Do not allow brokenness to take root in your spirit. Also, please do not check out of life. God is not moved by our emotions, he is moved by our actions.Obedience and submission to his will is what he is looking for us to fulfill. When we are obedient, all the benefits of his love, authority, and power becomes ours. A friend once told me, you’ll receive the love you deserve soon. We all must trust the process of God. We really have no choice! God moves in his own time in which we will never be able to calculate.
Get past the embarrassment of the ending of the relationship. You may have fallen but, get back up and keep moving. Know that you are worth and deserve the best God can and will give you. After all, he promised you perfect peace and a life of abundance. Now does this sound like a God who would not be there for you?
Listening to the Holy Spirit and not taking the route you want to go avoids confusion. We can avoid some pain if we only trust God more and ourselves less. I must be honest and transparent. I know what it feels to be rejected and disappointed. I have experienced many heart breaks, and not just in the area of intimacy. Each time the cut was deeper. Family and friends can hurt you as well. The great thing is, each were hard lesson which made me stronger. It was also, during those times Jesus was with me through it all. Each time I allowed him to heal and rebuild me. There is no greater pain than being broken and betrayed by someone you trust and love. However, there is no greater love than the love of Christ. It may not seem like it at the initial stage of heartbreak but, believe me you will persevere and love again. It about using God’s wisdom to move forth for the better.
Understanding what you want, need, and what you can offer is key. We must learn to be selective and careful in our choices. Not just for a mate, but in every area of our life. Learning not to make emotional selections based off temporary needs.This only leads to dissatisfaction, pain, and unhappiness. Learning when to pursue someone, and how prepared you are for love. Stop wasting the precious time of life God has given you.
Your greatness, and value will be found and cherished in due time. God has already created this plan. Therefore, we do not have to stress about it. We must be whole and emotionally ready to love the other person as Christ loved the church.
There is no such thing as a perfect love or perfect people. You know this.
Agape love is real and created by God. Loving that person or people still through Christ despite the pain still being a deep incision. Love is never supposed to end no matter what the circumstances are. The physical relationship ends. The soul ties break, but the love of God continues.
Although you are single and believing God for a mate, this is the time to serve the Lord more. This is the best time of your life for this chapter of your life. Not having anyone or anything to answer to above God. Fasting, prayer, meditation, service, study, and worship you can take full advantage to enhance in the Lord’s kingdom. I’ll discuss more about this in another lesson. So, for now, get busy for Jesus.
Have your moment in tears, but do not stay there. Yes! It’s important to purge the pain but, seek no healing, or closure from anyone. God will give you complete closure to move forth. Lay on your face before the Lord and, seek his peace for refuge and redemption.
Forgive whomever caused you pain. It could be a chance, they are hurting, were hurting, or seeking to find the same things you are (Acceptance and True love). The match was just not the right fit. We must remember not, everyone is evil, vindictive, or out to get us. LOL! Accept the lost. Some are just as emotionally wounded as you.
The thing about love is, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”.
Let me be clear. I’m not saying forgive to allow someone to continue to hurt you. I’m not saying to forgive to go back to the broken relationship. I’m not saying forgive to work it out, that’s your choice. I’m saying choose to forgive, to set yourself free from emotional and mental torture. Those vengeful thoughts, or thoughts that keep you in limbo of what if’s, or who that person is with, or what they are doing after you. None of those things are your concerns anymore. New beginning, new journey in the Lord should be your only focus moving forward. It will take time, but you can do it. Be an advocate of peace. Just when that person or persons thought they got the best of you, no, they contributed to building the best of you. You will find yourself and your strength.
Talk to God about your feelings, trusting he will help you. No one has your best interest better than Jesus. Many protection measures have been placed to prevent you from unnecessary pain. We just must listen to the Holy Spirit before making any moves or decisions. No more hard love lessons. Unnecessary! You have been through enough pain. Your new journey is freedom. Living Happy, Healthy, and Spiritually Whole.
It is time to serve God in pure form, giving 100%. Do not look backwards for the prize is ahead. God rewards his faithful servants. Victory will be yours. Just yield to the Holy Spirit. I can go on and on about the topic of love. Maybe I’ll write a part two. However, let yourself off the hook. Nothing and no one can stop your greatness. Trust God! If you fall, he’ll be there to catch you always.
Thank you, Jesus, for the love blueprint.
In Jesus you will find freedom.
Love,
Marti L. Coates
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